


Prevarication

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Awkward First Times, Consensual Infidelity, Emotionally Compromised, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Forgiveness, Friendship, I Blame Tumblr, Kissing It Better, Lies, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mistaken for Being in a Relationship, My first multi chapter fic, Not What It Looks Like, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, People do crazy things when they are in love, Porn With Plot, Relationship Problems, Secret Relationship, Sex, Slow Build, Smut, So Wrong It's Right, Unrequited Love, What Have I Done, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-05
Updated: 2014-01-21
Packaged: 2018-01-03 13:01:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1070751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prevarication (noun): the act of prevaricating, or lying. A false or deliberate misstatement; lie.<br/>When Mikasa begins to notice Eren and Armin’s constant disappearances, it’s clear to them that sneaking around isn’t going to work without an alibi. Eren devises a plan to throw her off their trail, to which Armin reluctantly agrees to participate. But deceptions are never simple, and often come with complicated costs.<br/>Armin will do anything to protect his relationship with Eren; even if that means infidelity.<br/> </p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little White Lies

_What is taking them so long?_  Mikasa stood against the cold stone wall of the hallway where Eren and Armin were supposed to have met her over half an hour ago.  In all their years of friendship she had never known them to be so blatantly late. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had never known them to be so blatantly late when she didn’t know where they had gone.

As the minutes continued to pass, she couldn’t help but fixate on the realization that this was happening more and more often over the past few months. 

_I swear they are avoiding me._

Across the castle, Eren rolled over to embrace his thoroughly exhausted boyfriend beneath the rough sheets.

“Don’t tell me you’re ready to go again already…”

 Armin’s hazy mumble made Eren chuckle. As their relationship had grown over the past few months he had learned exactly how to satisfy his lover to the point of mutual immobility.

“After that? No, I just wanted to feel your body against mine.”

Armin nestled up against Eren’s firm body, melting into the familiar comfort of his natural warmth. There was a certain security in lying together like this. All the worlds turmoil disappeared and for a few blissful moments everything was going to be alright.

“I don’t want to do anything today, let’s just stay in bed”, Eren suggested with a grin.

“You know we don’t get that choice.” Armin furrowed his brow in annoyance, not at the suggestion so much as at the knowledge that it was an idea they couldn’t indulge in. “Besides, I’m pretty sure there was something important we were supposed to do today.”

“Nothing we have to do yet. Just meeting Mikasa at 9.”

“9?” Armin looked at Eren in confusion.

“Yeah.”

“Eren is your clock right?” In the corner of the room, the unfortunately accurate timepiece drifted lazily around 9:45.

“I don’t see why it wouldn’t—shit! Get dressed; she is going to kill us!” Eren’s panic didn’t affect Armin in the slightest. He pulled himself languidly to his feet, casually picking up his discarded clothing from the bedroom floor and dressing himself.

“Calm down. At this point we’re already so late that a few extra minutes won’t make a difference.”

His words failed to calm Eren, who proceeded to roughly grab Armin by the wrist and begin dragging him out the door.

 

Mikasa’s patience had worn thin. When she spotted her long overdue friends sprinting around the corner into the hallway, she had every intention of making sure they were aware of her irritation.

“Where the hell have you been?” She looked back and forth between her two best friends, neither of whom seemed to be able to form an intelligable answer.

“Well…um… Sorry Mikasa.” Armin shifted in discomfort. Apparently starting a sentence did not guarantee coming up with an on the spot excuse for their simultaneous lack of punctuality.

“That doesn’t answer my question.” Both boys knew Mikasa well enough to understand that this cold response was out of hurt. One of them needed to come up with an explanation. Fast.

“We slept late.” Eren offered with a bit too much enthusiasm.

Mikasa has never been stupid nor has she ever been imperceptive. So when Armin’s face contorted to direct what can only be described as a what-the-hell look in Eren’s direction, her knowledge that his excuse was bullshit was utterly confirmed.

“You slept in.” She repeated.

“…yes?” Eren wavered in his response this time. Realizing he had made a mistake.

“Both of you.”

“Well… I mean…” Eren floundered and Armin tried to salvage the situation by offering up a flustered “you know how Eren is if nobody comes to wake him up.”

Mikasa wasn’t buying it.

“I also know that you both went to bed early last night because you weren’t feeling well.” Her exaggerated annunciation on the latter half of the sentence made it clear that she didn’t believe that either. “So I’m going to ask again. Where the hell were you? I would really prefer the truth.”

“That is the truth. Our bodies probably just needed the extra rest to get over whatever was making us sick last night.” Eren was much more convincing upon weaving in that extra detail. He had forgotten last night’s justification for excusing themselves early and was thankful it somehow managed to mesh with this morning’s fiasco of a fib.

“Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“Of course not. What would we need to hide from you?” Armin’s face took on a rosy flush, knowing the answer to his own defensive response.

With a sigh, Mikasa understood she wasn’t going to get a better explanation from either of them. “Fine, It just seems like you guys have been avoiding me lately.”

“We aren’t avoiding you!" Both boys exclaimed in unison.

“I want to believe that but over the past few months you two have been constantly disappearing without me. We’ve been friends for years; I don’t understand why the sudden change.”

A prolonged silence echoed through the stone hallway and it was clear that nobody was going to provide an explanation.

“Forget it. Let’s get going.”

Following Mikasa, Armin and Eren shot each other a look acknowledging their mutual realization. They would have to tell her something eventually, and time was running out for it to be on their own terms.

 

* * *

 

Eren laid on his bed next to Armin, both staring transfixed at the ceiling as if it held the answers to all their problems.

“Mikasa knows something is up. We’re going to have to tell her something.”

There was no way they could tell her about that night months ago when Armin had let it slip that he had feelings for Eren. There was no way they could tell her about Eren shocking Armin by sharing that those feelings were mutual. There was no way they could tell her that they had been hiding their relationship from everyone they knew, including her, because they weren’t ready make their lives even more complicated than they already were by nature.

“We knew hiding it wasn’t going to work forever Eren… she’s almost caught us more times than I can count.”

“Only at the beginning! We’ve gotten better at being discreet.”

His protest fell upon ears that were all too knowledgeable of the situation.

“No we haven’t. We’ve just gotten better at making excuses to leave instead of pawing at each other behind whatever nearby thing is most convenient to hide behind.”

They continued gazing toward the ceiling in silence. The entire day had been a disaster. After Mikasa called them out on constantly sneaking off together, she had remained in a foul mood until after dinner when she excused herself to her own room. A decision had to be made tonight; an angry Mikasa was dangerous for everybody.

Suddenly, Eren shot up from his laying position. “OH MY GOD, I’VE GOT IT!”

“What?” Armin drew apprehensively into a seated position.

“I know how we can give her an explanation without having to tell her about our relationship!”

“How is that?”

“Here’s what we do. Tomorrow during breakfast, you’re going to ask her if you can talk in private.”

“Ok… and then?”

“Then you tell her that we have been avoiding her but it was for a good reason.”

Armin snorted, “That will completely solve our problem. That definitely won’t confirm we’re hiding something from her or anything.”

“Shut up, that’s not it. You’re going to tell her that I’ve been helping you avoid her because you like her!”

Armin blinked. “Um… what?” Surely he had misheard.

“It’s foolproof! She won’t be mad at us for avoiding her because she’ll have a reason! Plus it’s not like she has feelings for you so it’ll get her off our backs without anybody having to get hurt!” Eren grinned in excitement. Pleased with himself at coming up with such a well thought out plan. Armin on the other hand was not so thrilled. “No.” 

Eren’s smile fell, “what do you mean ‘no’?”

“I mean that I’m not doing it.” Armin crossed his arms in defiance. This was not something he wanted to be negotiating.

“Come on! It’s simple and pretty much guaranteed.” Eren pouted at Armin. An expression he generally knew to be useful in getting whatever he wanted.

“If you’re so sure that would work, why don’t you just tell her you’re the one who likes her?”

Eren gave a revolting retching sound, “That’s disgusting, she’s practically my sister!”

“If you hadn’t noticed, we’re all pretty much equally close in that department.”

“Yeah but we LIVED TOGETHER. If I was going to have any kind of feelings for her, I would’ve made a move back then. She won’t buy it if we put this on me.”

As much as Armin didn’t want to admit it, Eren had a point. That detail did rule out the possibility of Eren being the one to act out his plan.

“I’m still not going to do it.” He looked away from Eren, purposefully avoiding any potential for eye contact. Eren scooted closer until their bodies were touching.

 “Please?”

“No.”

His terse response was met by Eren's arms wrapping around his tense shoulders. 

“Please?”

“No.”

Eren pulled himself into Armin’s lap, legs wrapping around his waist to minimize the space between their bodies.

“Please?”

Armin turned his head forward to face Eren as he reiterated the unchanging reply.

“No.”

This was going nowhere fast as both boys stubbornly stood their ground; each of them holding out with resolute determination that his own opinion should win.

Armin tried his best to remain rigid as Eren began placing tender kisses on his neck.

“Stop it. That isn’t going to work.” His voice faltered slightly as the kisses gave way to the alternating sensations of gentle sucking and lusty swipes of his tongue.

Eren whispered a breathy “Please?” into his ear.

Armin squeaked “...No” with a hesitation that did not go as unnoticed as he hoped.

Eren placed his hands on either side of Armin’s face, locking eyes and deliberately placing his lips only millimeters away from his distraught partner.  
“Please?” He punctuated the murmured plea by closing what little distance remained between them; affectionately caressing Armin’s lower lip with his hot tongue to request entrance.

Armin surprised Eren with an aggressive bite to said tongue. Taking the opportunity to assert “No” as Eren paused, taking a moment to register the fact that he had been rejected.

Armin momentarily believed he had won as Eren retreated, legs unwound from his waist. But it was only a second before he found himself tossed onto his back with Eren straddling his hips.

“Pleeeeeaaaase?” Each elongated syllable was accompanied by Eren rolling his pelvis back and forth against Armin’s undeniably increasing arousal.”

“Nnnnggg—No,” he groaned; doing his best to ignore the tightness of his pants and the lover above him making it almost impossible to form words.

Eren slid down his body, stopping when his head was positioned above Armin’s groin in such a way that he was able to use his teeth to unfasten his pants button.  
“Eren—” Armin gave what he hoped was a warning glare, knowing all too well that it appeared to be more of a pleading invitation. The zipper followed his button almost immediately. Confirming exactly where this was leading as well as his powerlessness against stopping it.

Eren pulled down Armin’s pants and boxers in one smooth motion. Armin couldn’t help the slight whine that escaped his lips as he sprang free from the too-tight cloth. He could feel Eren encasing both hands around his length. He mentally cursed his body for being so responsive; it was difficult to deny requests from someone who made him this hard so quickly.

His breath quickened as Eren pumped his shaft.

“Please?”

He managed a barely audible “no” between panting.

Eren removed one of his hands, using it to grab Armin’s thigh.  He swirled his tongue in sensuous, deliberate motions to clear the precum already dripping from his lover.

Armin grunted, grabbing at the sheets below him in a vain attempt to anchor himself to resistance against the exhilarating sensations pulsing through his body.

“EREN OH MY GOD,” Armin cried out; bucking his hips as Eren took him in all the way to the base. The more Eren sucked and  tongued his sensitive member, the less Armin was able to maintain control. He found himself thrusting in rhythm with the bobbing of Eren’s head.

Eren grazed his teeth down the shaft, turning his attention to the head. Armin’s guttural moans only encouraged Eren to suck harder.

Armin’s found himself entwining his fingers in Eren’s hair as Eren playfully teased his head and used his free hand to tenderly massage his balls.

Armin’s breathing became increasingly ragged as Eren increased the intensity of his sucking; focusing entirely on unraveling the boy below him.

“Eren—I..I…I’m gonna…AH!”  Armin threw his head back and shouted as his body tightened and pulsed through his orgasm; toes curling in white hot ecstasy.  

Eren graciously swallowed the evidence of their love before sliding up Armin’s body to be face-to-face. 

“Please baby?” He pleaded, giving one final appeal.

It took Armin a moment to catch his breath enough to speak. He focused his dazed eyes on his lover and hisfranticly beating  heart wouldn’t allow him to deny even this ridiculous request.

“Fine” he relented, “I don’t like it, but I love you and I’m willing to try if you think it will work.”  

Eren’s heart leapt; he planted a firm kiss on Armin’s lips to show his gratitude. Armin ran his tongue across Eren’s bottom lip before slowly inserting it into his mouth. Their tongues intertwined, overcome with passion for one another and excitement at having come up with a solution to their problem. They began to remove Eren’s clothing and what remained of Armin’s. This was going to be a night to celebrate.

 

* * *

 

 

The next morning arrived too quickly. In lieu of their normal routine of arriving together, Eren suggested that Armin leave for breakfast first so it wouldn’t seem as awkward to pull her away. 

He shuffled uneasily toward the table where Mikasa was sitting alone. It had to be now before their friends arrived. The early morning would be his only chance to do this privately. 

“Good morning” Armin squeaked.  _'This is already awkward'_

“Morning… are you alright?” Mikasa could tell that something was distressing Armin. His right arm crossed his body, desperately clutching his left bicep as if his life depended on it.

“Yeah, I’m ok. But… can we talk?” His entire body shook with aprehension.  _'Come on, it's Mikasa. Just breath and be normal.'_

“Of course” she patted the empty seat next to her “take a seat.”

As Armin sunk onto the hard wooden chair, he looked around to ensure no one else had arrived in the dining room. He had never been so thankful for Mikasa’s habit of dining early. “It’s about what you said yesterday.”

“I said a lot of things yesterday.”

“About how you felt like Eren and I have been avoiding you.”

Mikasa took a deep breath before acknowledging, “I did say that.”

“Well… we were but not because we didn’t want to be around you or anything. We just had to….uh… well I had to and Eren…um… Eren was helping me.”

Mikasa scowled, “I don’t understand. Did I do something?”

“No! It’s not like that! It’s just… this is really embarrassing.”  _'At least half of that sentense was true'_

She rolled her eyes, “What could possibly be too embarrassing to tell me?!”

“I really like you ok!” Armin clasped his hand over his mouth, hardly able to believe he had managed to get the words out. The plan was in full swing—no turning back.

 Mikasa’s eyes briefly widened in shock, but her entire face softened with understanding.

“So… yeah… that’s why Eren was helping me avoid you. So please don’t be mad.” Armin stood up to leave. _'There, now it's over.'_ Eren would be arriving any minute so the day could hopefully go on in a somewhat normal way.

“Armin, wait.” Mikasa grabbed his wrist to keep him from leaving. “I’m not mad.”

He smiled, somewhat relaxed now that his task was completed. “Good. I know you don’t feel the same, so I’m going to work on getting over it. Please understand if that means there’s still quite a bit of time Eren and I aren’t around.”

“A-actually…”

Armin froze and he thought desperately to himself _‘Oh no… no no no no no no no. Please don’t say what I think you’re going to say. No. Stick to the plan.’_

“I actually have had feelings for you for quite a while now…”

_‘Goddammit Eren you said this wouldn’t happen!’._ As his face settled into a deep scarlet ,Armin faked the most convincing smile he could muster, “Really?”

“Yeah, I was just too embarrassed to say anything because we were such close friends I thought you would think of me more like a sister.”

“Hehe, well it’s funny how life works sometimes.” The flush across Armin's cheeks wasn't subsiding; he wasn't sure if it was out of embarrassment for the situation or fury toward his boyfriend for talking him into such a poorly thought out plan.

Mikasa gave Armin a quick peck on the cheek just as Eren walked up behind where they were seated.

“Ahem” he coughed to get their attention; more than mildly surprised to see Mikasa giving Armin such attention.  _'Either she was really understanding or he hasn't told her'_

“Good morning Eren.” Mikasa beamed as Armin glared at him mouthing ‘I am going to kill you’. 

Eren couldn't miss the crimson highlighting Armin's cheeks, or obvious anger.  _'Hm... something isn't right here.'_

“Good morning. Hey, is it alright if I talk to Armin alone for a sec?”

“Oh, it’s ok. I already know, he told me this morning.”

“Really? And you’re… uh… alright with it?”

“Yes. Tell him Armin.”

“She actually likes me too” he stated flatly, poorly feigning any emotion other than annoyance through his gritted teeth.

“Oh…wait what?!”

“Actually Mikasa, Eren and I probably should talk about this for a moment. You  know, man to man. We’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright, that makes sense. See you later!”

Once Mikasa had turned her focus back to breakfast, Armin grabbed Eren by the front of his shirt and dragged him out to the hallway. This was not part of the plan.


	2. Complications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Mikasa's unexpected confession, Armin is furious at the situation Eren has gotten him into. They argue about where they should go from here and eventually come up with what they hope is a plan to deal with the unexpected circumstances.  
> Mikasa takes Armin out to the lake where his resolve to hold true to the plan is put to the test. Everything seems as if it might work out until emotions get in the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the kudos and encouraging comments on chapter one! Each one truly made my day <3 
> 
> I didn't expect to have this chapter completed until Friday but who actually studies during finals week anyways? 
> 
> Part of this chapter is in Armin's point of view. I'll let you know when we get to that point. Enjoy~

 After dragging him out of earshot of the dining room, Armin slammed Eren furiously against the stone wall of the hallway, pinning him by the shoulders.

 “I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT TO DO THIS! WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!”   Armin fumed as he locked eyes with a horrified Eren.

“I—uh—may not have planned for this…”  Eren was avoiding eye contact, trying to collect his thoughts into something helpful.

“Great. What are we supposed to do now, huh?” The panic was clear in Armin’s voice.  
Eren gazed into the desperate blue eyes before him. He could read Armin’s entire array of emotions; rage, frustration, embarrassment, but mostly he could see that he looked about to burst into tears.

“It’s going to be ok,” was the only thing that came to mind.

“What part of this seems ‘ok’ to you?”

He was right. This wasn’t okay and there was no reason to think it was going to be. Eren knew he needed to calm Armin down so they could discuss this rationally.

“Let’s go back to my room.”  
“You are not going to fix this by fucking me—” Armin found himself silenced by Eren’s hand being clamped over his mouth.

“Oh my God Armin, someone is going to hear you! That’s not it, I just think we should discuss this in private.”

Armin wordlessly released his grip on Eren’s shoulders, sinking away and turning on his heels to stomp off. Eren followed from several paces behind. _‘I’ve never seen him so mad at me’_ he silently worried.

“Look… Armin…”

“We’ll talk in the room” he spat venomously; he hadn’t even bothered to turn and look at Eren when he responded.

 _‘Shit, I really screwed this up,’_ Eren’s entire being filled with remorse. He purposefully maintained the extended distances between them. Normally he would at Armin’s side, but right now he could sense that he needed the space. Following behind, it was impossible for Eren to ignore the pain he had so obviously caused to his lover.

The walk to Eren’s room felt like miles, each minute trekking through the castle halls was filled with a silence that extended into eternity. Armin let himself in, allowing the door to slam closed directly in Eren’s face.

 _‘He is really pissed off…’_ Eren pushed the door open. Armin sat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with his head in his hands which rested against his knees. Eren approached carefully, sitting next to him while ensuring that they didn’t touch. The last thing he wanted to do was upset Armin any further with unwanted contact.

“You said it would work” Armin sniffled.

“I thought it would. I would never have put you through this if I thought…”  Eren couldn’t even finish his sentence. He tentatively placed his palm on Armin’s back; beginning to rub soothing circles only after he was sure his hand wasn’t going to be slapped away.

“It’s going to be even worse now when she finds out.”

“Who says she has to find out?”   Eren’s hand dropped as Armin sat up.

“What is wrong with you? We can’t just play with her feelings like that. We have to tell her before this gets any worse!”

I know but…” Eren paused, “you can’t exactly just walk up to her and say ‘Oh, just kidding, I don’t like you’.”

“But I DON’T LIKE HER. I mean, she’s my friend of course but I’m in love with YOU.”  The tears Armin had been holding back started to spill down his face.

“We’re going to figure this out.” Eren tried his best to use a comforting tone, but the shaking in his voice revealed that he was at a complete loss.

Armin scooted closer to Eren, closing the space between them to sob into his shoulder; “Can’t we just tell her the truth?”

“She doesn’t even know either of us is gay. It doesn’t make sense to spring that on her by telling her about our relationship.” Eren wrapped his arms around the distraught blonde.

“I’m pretty sure everybody knows. I spend almost every night in your room.”    
While Mikasa sleeps in a room with the other girls, surely someone in the boys sleeping quarters had noticed Armin’s constant absence.

“Well if she believed you this morning then obviously she’s overlooking that or nobody has mentioned anything.”

“We have to tell her, Eren” was his exasperated plea.

“Maybe we don’t. I love you more than anything, and I am sorry that I put you in this position. But Mikasa is our friend too. The idea of either of you getting hurt because of me… I just can’t take that. We have to make this right.”

“What does that mean?”

“Can’t you go along with it for a couple of weeks? Just long enough to let her think you gave it a fair shot.”  

Eren’s request hung thick in the air, adding to Armin’s confusion as he tried to process what it was supposed to mean.

“Are you telling me to cheat on you?”

“Well… not exactly. Just pretend to date Mikasa while you’re actually dating me.”

“So cheat on you” he deadpanned.

“It’s not cheating if I know about it!” Eren was almost as frustrated as Armin. He just wanted to find a solution and get this all behind them.

“Oh my God, Eren your last idea got us into this mess.”

“And this one is going to get us out of it!”

This wasn’t the sort of argument that either of them had ever expected to have.  Who would ever have predicted that they would have to negotiate infidelity in order to keep their relationship together.

“What if she wants to kiss?” Armin watched Eren stiffen at the thought.

“Well, she was kissing you on the cheek when I got to the dining room and I was fine.”

“You broke it up with the most obvious fake cough I have ever heard.”

“Fine, I didn’t like it.” Eren grumbled, “But if she initiates it then kiss her because it would be weird if you liked her and didn’t want to touch.”

“What if she wants to have sex?”

Eren blanched, “I don’t think she would want to do that.”

“You also didn’t think she liked me.”

 Armin had a fair point. It seems that neither of them was as good at reading Mikasa’s emotions as they had thought.

“Do you want to have sex with her?” Eren was apprehensive. Knowing the answer didn’t change the knowledge that it might become an issue.

“Gross. No. But I don’t know what to expect here; especially if you’re making me cheat on you.”

“Please stop calling it that.”

“I’m just calling it what it is.”

Eren took a deep breath, “Just… do what you have to do. Whatever it is. Do anything you have to do.”

Armin placed a tender kiss on Eren’s neck. “How long do I have to keep this up?”

“Give it a month. That will have been long enough that you can break up with her and it won’t seem suspicious.”  As Eren spoke, Armin repositioned himself to be sitting in his lap.

“You know, I’m still mad at you.”

Eren smirked, “What are you going to do about it?”

Armin wasted no time in unbuttoning Eren’s shirt, “I’m going to have to try and forget.”

“What happened to me not being able to fix it by fucking you?” 

A mischievous grin found its way onto Armin’s face, “Oh, you can’t fix it by fucking me. I can deal with it by fucking you.”

Armin placed his lips softly onto Eren’s.  He knew exactly what he wanted; deliberate, sensual, compassionate, love making; not the frantic agitation that normally trademarked make up sex.

“Tell me what to do baby.” Eren purred.

“Just lay back and enjoy the ride.”

**_THUD THUD THUD_ **

There could not have been a worse time for them to hear knocking on Eren’s door.

“Shit…WHO THE HELL IS IT, I’M BUSY!” Eren shouted in the general direction of the door.

“Don’t be rude” Armin reprimanded, untangling himself from his position in Eren’s lap in pursuit of a standing position next to the bed.

“It’s me… can I come in?” The boys recognized Mikasa’s voice from the other side of the door.

“Just a sec!” Eren hastily fastened his shirt and repositioned himself in an effort to hide his obvious arousal. “Come in, Armin is here too!”

Mikasa pushed open the door and sauntered over to sit down on the bed.

“You were gone awhile and I was worried you wouldn’t have time to eat before drills.”

“No worries, we were just getting ready to come back.” Armin cut in without allowing Eren to respond.

“Oh, perfect. Say… before we go, Eren, are you alright with this?”

“Alright with what?” Eren was still irritated about being interrupted and was in no mood to consider what Mikasa was talking about.

“With me and Armin getting together I mean. We’ve all been friends a long time and I could see why it might seem a little weird for you.”

Eren snickered, thinking to himself _‘You don’t know the half of it’_ before audibly responding with “It is a little weird but I’ll get used to it.”

Mikasa smiled, “Thanks. Hey Armin, do you want to maybe hang out a bit tonight after dinner?”

“Uh… sure. There’s nothing going on tonight.”

“Great. Now come on let’s get going.”

 As they all began heading towards the door Armin whispered quickly in Eren’s ear, “Fix your shirt, you skipped a button.”

Mikasa grabbed Armin’s hand and they all began the trip back to the dining room. Eren watched his boyfriend mingle with his friend and fought back a cringe. _‘I hate this already.’_

 

* * *

 

 

“I don’t want you to go.” Eren watched his boyfriend remove his 3DMG straps from their long day of training.

“Calm down, we’re just hanging out.”

“What does hanging out even mean?” Eren laid back on his bed, directing his attention to the ceiling.

“I don’t know, when you and I hang out we just… oh.” Armin immediately realized why his partner was so nervous.

“Yeah.”  

He directed his attention to Eren to deliberately state, “Look… I’m only doing this because you told me to. We don’t have to do this. We can call it off right now.”

Eren wanted to call the whole thing off, there was no denying that. But he also didn’t want to see anybody get hurt any more than they already had.

“No, it’s fine. We don’t want to hurt Mikasa.”

“Are you sure this isn’t going to hurt you?”

Eren was silent far longer than anyone would ever be in a situation where they were ok, “I’ll deal with it.”

Armin felt terrible, even knowing that he was following Eren’s direct instructions.

“Just relax. When I get back we can pick up where we left off this morning.”

The thought somewhat lifted Eren’s spirits, it wasn’t often that Armin promised to top. “Ok. Try to have fun.”

Armin snorted, “If it comes to that, I’ll be thinking of you the whole time.”

“Ha, very funny” Eren didn’t even bother to disguise his distaste.

Armin grinned. The jealousy in his boyfriends tone was reassuring. “It was a joke.”

“Just hurry up and go meet with Mikasa so you can come back to me.”

Armin reluctantly started towards the door, looking back at Eren; “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Please go before I rip your clothes off.”

Armin’s lips curved up to a smile as he opened the door, “I’m going. You can rip my clothes off in a few hours.”

 

 

* * *

 

** **

 

 

** _Armin's P.O.V._   
**

As many times as I’ve taken the short walk to the girls’ room with Mikasa, this shouldn’t be weird. My mind can’t help but drift to Eren in his room all alone. I know he’s going crazy right now but considering he was the one responsible for this whole debacle it is kind of difficult to feel sorry for him. Ever since our relationship started we had both done our best to keep things a secret. Things were just too complicated to add a public relationship on top of all the insanity in our lives.

Pacing isn’t going to make this any easier, so with a deep breath I knock at the door.

“Come in!”

That’s definitely Mikasa’s voice. I desperately hoped that we wouldn’t be alone. She shared a room, as I would if I ever bothered to sleep in my assigned quarters instead of in Eren’s, so it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility.

“Mikasa?” I see her pulling on her shoes on the other side of the room. None of the other girls are here; there is no way that’s by random chance.

“Sorry I wasn’t ready yet. I got a little caught up talking to Sasha at dinner.”

“It’s not a problem. So… what do you want to do?” I didn’t realize my hands were in my pockets until now. At least I probably look casual; I’ll take any look over my nervousness I’m trying to cover.

“I was thinking we could go on a walk.” 

“That sounds nice, let’s go.”

I can see that she’s ready now and a walk sounds safe. At least we weren’t going to be staying in an empty room. Seriously, where is everybody?

“Thank you for meeting up with me.”

Thank you for meeting up with me? Really? I understand that she is probably anxious but that might be the most awkward thing she could say considering how long we have been friends.

“My pleasure.” I take that back. My reply was way more awkward. Who says ‘my pleasure’?

I allow her to take the lead on our direction because I have no idea where she wants to walk. There are too many doors to just take a wild guess.

“Do you want to go to the lake?” That answers that.

“Sure.”

To be honest, I’d rather not go down to the lake with Mikasa. The lake had taken on a special significance to me ever since the night Eren had let me know that he loved me back. The lake is our special place that I don’t want to share; but I can’t possibly tell her that without telling her about Eren and me. Not to mention the fact that the lake is pretty secluded. There is almost no chance of anyone walking by at night so anything could happen.

When we reached the door I opened it for Mikasa. Her blush would have been endearing if I’d had even the slightest interest. I feel like a terrible person; I’m not one to play with someone’s emotions and she clearly believes I have feelings for her.

“Thank you.”

I know it’s rude but I responded with only a non-committal nod as I joined her in the cool night air. I can’t help but notice how beautiful the moon is tonight, casting its glow across the outer grounds of headquarters. _‘I would love to have taken Eren out here tonight’_. I can’t believe I’m following Mikasa to my and Eren’s special spot.

“We haven’t been to the lake in years.”

“Yeah, it’s hard to find time during the day anymore.”  It was easier to just let her think I haven’t been back. It saves on tricky explanations.

“Do you still remember the way?” She adjusted her pace to be next to me and interlaced her fingers with mine. I am already ridiculously uncomfortable.

“Of course.” I try to smile. She seems so happy strolling through the moonlight. I don’t see her so happy very often anymore; it kills me knowing that her joy stems from a lie.

“It’s nice to be out late for something other than night drills.”

“Haha, that’s for sure!” She has no idea my laughter has nothing to do with her statement being funny and everything to do with the fact that Eren and I come outside many nights. Few people venture out in the evenings so we had found the outdoors to be our safe haven when we needed to go somewhere other than his room.

The lake isn’t far, maybe a 10 minute walk or so. The feeling of Mikasa’s hand in mine is awkward as we navigate the terrain. I vaguely wonder if she is enjoying herself but I can’t bring myself to ask.  
“So… here we are.” Her voice is unsteady; I can’t help but wonder what she is thinking about.

“Yep here we are.”  I don’t mean to parrot her but I honestly don’t know what to say. She turns into me, leaning too close for comfort.

“How well do we know each other?”

Her question catches me off guard.

“Um… well we’ve been friends for years so probably better than most anyone else.” I hope my answer is satisfactory. I’m kind of unclear about what she means.

“That’s what I was thinking too. So there isn’t much sense in wasting time on awkward introductions.”

“Wait…wha—” She doesn’t even let me finish my sentence before her mouth is on mine. The kiss is sloppy, inexperienced. I’m surprised, I always thought she would have at least experimented with someone but the way she holds her lips against mine and isn’t sure what to do with her tongue suggests otherwise. I try to give it some direction, sliding my tongue over hers and subtly reigning in her erratic flicking.

The whole thing is kind of disgusting. We’ve been close for so many years that it’s as if I’m making out with my sister. To make matters worse, I feel like I’m betraying Eren.

I can see the desire in her eyes when I pull apart from our kiss. I do my best to ignore the threads of drool that are left behind.

“Wow.” She’s breathless.

“Wow.” I can’t believe that was so bad.

“It’s kind of embarrassing but that was actually my first kiss.”

“Really?” Either I did a great job of acting surprised or she was distracted. I’m inclined to think it’s the second one.

“Yeah… I’d like to do it again.”

‘ _Eren was never this awkward. Or maybe he was and I just didn’t notice because I was so infatuated.’_

“Ok.” What else was I supposed to say?

The way she mashes her lips into mine is almost painful. I’m afraid to give any playful bites in case she wants to try emulating the technique. I can tell by the way she’s pulling on me that she wants us to get down in the grass. I begrudgingly oblige, laying back on the soft lawn and allowing her to crawl on top of me. Despite being smaller than Eren, her muscle mass makes her substantially heavier than the partner I have come to know so well.

I feel her fumbling with the buttons of my shirt.  I debate letting her struggle with it but ultimately decide to help her out before she tears the fabric. I figure it would be rude not to reciprocate and  pull Mikasa’s shirt over her heard, tossing it next to us in the grass. I vaguely wonder if she’s going to expect me to take off her bra. I can almost guarantee that isn’t going to happen considering I have no idea how to work one of those.

This isn’t any fun. I want to be doing this with my boyfriend, not Mikasa. I can’t help but let my mind drift off to Eren. I wonder what he’s doing right now and what we might be doing later.

I hear the involuntary moan that escapes my lips at the thought. Mikasa responds with a blush as she frees herself from my mouth and shoddily attempts to suck at my neck. I realize that I might be able to make this work.

‘ _All I have to do is imagine that I’m with Eren instead. She never has to know.’_

I’m able to relax beneath Mikasa’s advances and my body finally begins to respond to the stimulation.

I hear Mikasa give a surprised inhale; she must have noticed my burgeoning erection.

“Sorry…” I mutter.

“No, it’s alright.”

Apparently it’s more than alright because she reaches for my zipper. I remind myself to think of Eren as she removes my pants and continue my fantasizing as I do the same to hers. Lying on the grass in my boxers feels familiar, even if the weight above me does not.

I close my eyes and mentally repeat _“just pretend she’s Eren.’_ I feel her fingers twist into my waistband and I take a deep breath as she pulls off my boxers.

I’m only about half as hard as I usually am at this point, but Mikasa seems impressed. She drops her body fully on mine and attempts another kiss. She hasn’t improved in the last few minutes, but I am mildly impressed that she manages to remove her panties as a simultaneous effort.

I’m relieved when she pulls her mouth away and sits up over my hips.

“How do I do this?”

It takes every ounce of self-control not to make a joke about her needing a dick. _‘Just pretend she’s Eren.’_

“Position yourself over me and push until I’m inside you comfortably.”

My explanation is flat. Impersonal. But it’s the best I can do without pulling myself too far out of the illusion that I could be with Eren. I can feel her adjusting her position.

I hear Mikasa groan as she pushed herself down over my shaft.

I grunt; she’s really tight and the friction is pleasant. I thrust my hips, trying not to use too much force until I know what she can handle.

Surprisingly, she matches my rhythm almost immediately. I increase my speed until we settle into a comfortable pace. Her quickening breath is almost cute.

She digs her fingers into my sides. Initially I’m not sure if she’s doing it to steady herself or in an attempt to be sexy. She’s looking at me, but thankfully not into my eyes. I’m here physically but mentally I’m far away.

The stars are beautiful tonight and they provide a nice distraction from what is otherwise relative boredom. I’m lucky Mikasa doesn’t seem to have experience; my complete lack of presence would be blaringly obvious to anybody who knew what it felt like to connect with a lover.

I don’t bother to adjust my pacing or try to find a more pleasurable position. I have no idea what to do with her and as insensitive as it sounds I don’t particularly care if she orgasms or not. Mostly I just want this to be over.

 I start to wonder if I’m lasting longer than usual or if time is just playing tricks on me. Eren knows how to make me cum so quickly that I’m not used to spending this long in plateau. ‘ _Eren…’_ What is he doing right now? I bet he’s pacing around the room as desperate for my return as I am.

I hear Mikasa squeak. I hadn’t noticed how much the strength of my thrusts increased during my musings.

 _‘Alright, let’s get on with this,’_ I think to myself.

I reach my arms around Mikasa’s hips to hold her steady as I roll over to adjust our positioning, landing with me on top and her squirming beneath me in a mixture of shock and pleasure.

“Oh!” She cries out as I thrust my hips into her with as much force as I can muster. This could have been decent sex if we had any connection, not bad for a first time at least.

I finally start to feel my muscles tense inside her tight warmth. My even breathing gives way to erratic pants.

“Mikasa? If you don’t want me to finish inside of you, I need to know now.”

I’m not surprised when she doesn’t give me a verbal response. Judging by her whimpering she seems to be lost in her own mounting pleasure. I make a judgment call and decide not to pull out, knowing it will feel better for both of us if I don’t.

I don’t have to move for much longer before my body is wracked with the overwhelming pulsing of orgasm. I’m aware that I cry out, but I don’t think about what it is that I’ve shouted until my muscles complete their rhythmic spasms.  Collapsing onto Mikasa, I catch a glimpse of her expression; wide eyed with absolute terror.

“Armin?”  Her tone makes me nervous.

“Yes?” I pant, still catching my breath.

“Did… did you just call out Eren’s name?”

 _Shit._ I’m frozen. Naked and exposed on top of Mikasa with no idea how to respond.  
“Um…”

“OH MY GOD!” She rolls me off her. I sit on the grass in a stupor, watching her gather her scattered clothing.

“I can’t handle this right now. I need to leave.”  I can hear the sense of betrayal in her voice. She isn’t taking this well… not that anybody would under the circumstances.

“Mikasa, wait.” I offer calmly.  
I’m not surprised when she doesn’t answer. I’m even less surprised when she storms off, haphazardly pulling clothing on en route without any real concern for how disheveled her overall appearance is. 

I take a deep breath and start picking up my own clothing. The whole time I’m getting dressed I know that I’ve just made everything worse. I’m not sure what worries me more, the fact that now Mikasa knows or the fact that I have to go explain to Eren how she found out.

 

 

  _ **End of Armin's P.O.V**_

__

* * *

_**  
**_

The instant the door had swung closed, Eren nearly knocked Armin to the floor with an enthusiastic hug.

“I’m so glad you’re back! How did it go?” Eren’s face fell when he saw Armin’s dejected expression.

“Well, something might have happened.” He searched for the words to explain the night’s events.

“Something like?” Eren was desperate for details. He could see that things hadn’t gone well, but he needed an explanation.

“We went on a walk down to the lake.” Armin started.

“Our lake?” Eren’s possessiveness of their special place made Armin think about how uncomfortable he had been going there with Mikasa in the first place. Any other time he might have laughed, but this wasn’t the time for amusement.

“It was her idea, not mine. Anyways, she started kissing me.”

Eren scrunched his face in disapproval, “Ew.”

“I assure you it wasn’t anything worth being jealous over. But… I let her lead it wherever she wanted, since you said to do what I had to do to make sure she believed it.”

Eren started feeling sick to his stomach, “what did you have to do?”

“We-might-have-kinda-had-sex-and-it-was-pretty-bad-but-I-tried-thinking-about-you-to-make-it-better-and-I-may-have-screamed-your-name-when-I-came.” Armin blurted out the entirety of his explanation as if it was one long word. He knew that pausing even to breath would prevent him from being able to complete the story.

Eren’s eyes widened wordlessly.

“She was really upset and ran off. I don’t know if she has put together that you and I are a thing, but she definitely knows that I’m more into you than her.”

It isn’t easy to render Eren speechless, but Armin’s account of his date with Mikasa had definitely done the trick.

“We are going to have some serious explaining to do.” He finally carped.

“I’m sorry Eren. Really.”

“No… I’m sorry. It’s my fault for making you go along with this whole stupid plan.”

They ventured away from the doorway in silence; Eren lying down on his side of the bed and Armin exploring the dresser for a change of clothes to sleep in.

“Everything is going to be okay… right?” Armin hadn’t particularly directed his question to Eren, but he understood that it wasn’t rhetorical.

“Yeah.” Eren attempted a reassuring smile, “I mean, Mikasa is probably really upset but we’ll go talk to her together in the morning. This time we’ll be honest.”

Armin crawled into the bed and snuggled close to Eren.

“We’re going to be ok, right?”

Eren turned his head to face Armin. “Yeah. You just did what I asked; I’m the one who told you to sleep with her. The fact that you did… in a weird way it kind of shows how much you love me because I know you didn’t want to. You did it to try and protect us.” 

“Thank you.”

It had been a hectic day. So much had gone awry since waking up in the morning that both boys were incredibly fatigued. They fell asleep in each other’s arms. No sense worrying about what tomorrow will bring when you already know everything is out of control. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm being really super mean to Armin with this plot line... sorry baby, it's just because I love you and you can handle it!  
> Anyways, I'm not used to flipping POV's so let me know if I made any weird mistakes or something that got missed in the editing process. 
> 
> Please feel free to leave comments telling me what you think. It makes my day to hear from a reader.  
> Also feel free to send me messages on Tumblr (DiaryOfABrokenDoll) because I'll always respond. 
> 
> Finals wrap up on Friday so I'll begin working on the next chapter and plan to have it posted by next Tuesday <3


	3. Both Sides of the Story

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What was Mikasa thinking throughout everything that has happened so far?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for you comments and kudos! I love every one of you and will continue to reply to every one <3  
> I decided it might be helpful to know Mikasa's perspective of everything that's been happening before we move on with the story so without further delay, here we go!

_'What is taking them so long?'_ Eren and Armin were supposed to meet me over half an hour ago, but I’m still leaning against the cold stone wall of the hallway in wait. I’ve never known them to be so late before; at least not without a good reason. It’s slightly unnerving because I don’t even know where they are right now.

Time keeps ticking on without any sign of their arrival. They have been leaving me out of the loop so much lately, I’m sure they’re somewhere together right now.

_'I swear they are avoiding me.'_

In the years since I’ve known them, I’ve gotten pretty good at reading both Eren and Armin. The three of us are so close that it doesn’t take much for me to realize when they are hiding something from me. As much as I hate to admit it, I know something is going on that they aren’t telling me about. I don’t expect them to share every minute detail of their lives, but it’s worrisome when whatever it is has started to make them avoid me. 

Every time someone walks through the corridor, I glance up in hope that they have finally arrived. I can only take so much disappointment before I have to admit to myself that they may not be coming.

_'I’ll give it another 10 minutes before I leave.'_

I can’t believe my friends would stand me up like this. I’m beyond irritated at this point, but I still look up when I hear hurried footfalls around the corner. This time I see that it’s finally them sprinting my way.  At least they seemed to realize their inexcusable tardiness.

“Where the hell have you been?” I stare them down, doing my best to ensure that my expression fully articulates my frustration. The most infuriating part of it all is the fact that neither of them seems to have an answer.

“Well…um…Sorry Mikasa.” Armin’s pathetic excuse for a response does nothing to answer my question.

“We slept late.”

 I might have believed Eren’s assertion if he hadn’t been so exuberant about it. Nobody is ever that excited to oversleep. It also doesn’t help his case that I can see the puzzled look Armin is giving him. If they’re going to give me some bullshit excuse, they could at least come up with something beforehand. Neither of them can lie to me.

“You slept in.” I repeat their explanation; mostly to give them the chance to correct it.

“…yes?” The obvious uncertainty in Eren’s voice is a dead giveaway.

“Both of you.” I inquire about this detail because it’s the most obvious problem with their story. Even if one of them had slept in, the odds of them both sleeping late are slim to none.

“Well… I mean…” Eren flounders in a failed attempt to redeem his poor excuse.

Armin does his best to redeem their situation by adding “you know how Eren is if nobody comes to wake him up.”

I know exactly how he is. Which is why I would believe it if Eren hadn’t woken up; but Armin? Not a chance.

“I also know that you both went to bed early last night because you weren’t feeling well.” I exaggerate the annunciation on the last few words to emphasize how little I believed them. “So I’m going to ask again. Where the hell were you? I would really prefer the truth.”

“That is the truth. Our bodies probably just needed the extra rest to get over whatever was making us sick last night.”  

I have to admit that was a good save on Eren’s part. Even if he would never have remembered that detail without my prompting, he managed to weave it in effectively to reinforce his lie. _‘This is ridiculous; I’m just going to ask’._

“Is there something you aren’t telling me?”

“Of course not. What would we need to hide from you?” The redness taking over Armin’s face only validates my suspicion that his response is far from honest.

I sigh; this is probably the closest I’m going to get to an explanation from either of them today. “Fine, it just seems like you guys have been avoiding me lately.”

“We aren’t avoiding you!” Their simultaneous exclamation is either well-rehearsed or some sort of half-truth that they have convinced themselves of.

“I want to believe that but over the past few months you two have been constantly disappearing without me. We’ve been friends for years; I don’t understand why the sudden change.”

Silence. I know that I’m not going to get anything out of either of them so I decide it isn’t worth pressing any further.

“Forget it. Let’s get going.”

I turn to lead the way, knowing they will follow. I can’t see them behind me but I’m sure they are exchanging some sort of non-verbal conversation about my questioning. It kills me that they can’t trust me with whatever is going on.

* * *

 

I have a consistent habit of going to breakfast early; which gives me some time to wake up fully before I need to converse with anybody. Normally I’m about halfway through my meal before the dining room door opens again. I’m a little surprised today when I hear footsteps before I even have time to take a sip of my orange juice.

“Good morning.” I recognize Armin’s voice and turn to face him.

“Morning… are you alright?” The way he is clutching his body suggests extreme distress. Not to mention how wobbly his greeting had been.

“Yeah, I’m ok. But… can we talk?”

I’m concerned because he is visibly shaking; I should probably offer him a seat before he falls over.

“Of course” I pat the empty seat next to me, “take a seat.”

He doesn’t look any more comfortable sitting than he had been while standing, but at least I no longer have to worry about him hitting the floor. “It’s about what you said yesterday.”

_‘Interesting. I didn’t expect an actual response after yesterday’s avoidance.’_ I think to myself before giving him the verbal acknowledgement of, “I said a lot of things yesterday.”

“About how you felt like Eren and I have been avoiding you.”

_‘Now we’re getting somewhere.’_ I have to take a deep breath, “I did say that.”

“Well… we were but not because we didn’t want to be around you or anything. We just had to…uh…well I had to and Eren…um…Eren was helping me.”

I scowl because whatever that rambling is makes absolutely no sense. “I don’t understand. Did I do something?”

“No! It’s not like that! It’s just… this is really embarrassing.”

I roll my eyes, exasperated, “What could possibly be too embarrassing to tell me?!”

“I really like you ok!” Armin covers his mouth with his hand as my world comes to a grinding halt.

My eyes widen in shock and thoughts race through my head. _What? How? Since when?_ It would explain why he was avoiding me. And of course he would have told Eren and he would have supported him. But… what?

“So…yeah… that’s why Eren was helping me avoid you. So please don’t be mad.”

He pushes his chair back and stands up to leave, but I find myself calling for him to stay. “Armin, wait.” I grab his wrist; I can’t handle him going anywhere just yet, “I’m not mad.”

He smiles at my contact, “Good. I know you don’t feel the same, so I’m going to work on getting over it. Please understand if that means there’s still quite a bit of time Eren and I aren’t around.”

“Actually…” I find myself locked between an opportunity I have wanted forever and the knowledge that what I am about to say would change everything. “I actually have had feelings for you for quite a while now…”

A deep crimson blush creeps across Armin’s face, “Really?”

“Yeah, I was just too embarrassed to say anything because we were such close friends I thought you would think of me more like a sister.” I’m surprised at how easily the confession rolls off my tongue. My newfound courage inspires me to take another chance in the moment by giving Armin a quick peck on the cheek. The almost instantaneous brush is interrupted by a loud cough from somewhere behind me, bringing my attention to Eren’s arrival at the table.

“Good morning Eren.” I’m sure that there is an unusually giddy smile on my face as I greet him.

“Good morning. Hey, is it alright if I talk to Armin alone for a sec?”

His request would have been annoying yesterday, but today it was sweet. He was really concerned for the emotional comfort of his friend.

“Oh, it’s ok. I already know, he told me this morning.”

“Really? And you’re…uh… alright with it?”

“Yes. Tell him Armin.”

“She actually likes me too.” I can tell he’s still absorbing the revelation that our feelings our mutual because he seems to be in emotional shock. I’ll admit, I’m still registering it for myself too. I guess neither of us had imagined that this could work out.

“Oh… wait what?!” Eren’s surprise doesn’t shake me. If he had known I liked Armin then he wouldn’t have been helping him to avoid me.

“Actually Mikasa, Eren and I probably should talk about this for a moment. You know, man to man. We’ll see you in a bit.”

“Alright, that makes sense. See you later!”

I go back to my breakfast and leave them to talk. They’ll probably go to Eren’s room to talk since it’s one of the few places that will guarantee privacy at this hour. Picking up my orange juice, the next sip seems sweeter after this morning’s unexpected turn of events.

* * *

 

Not wanting the boys to miss out on eating, I realized it would be prudent to alert them of how late it was getting. By the time I arrived at Eren’s doorway they had been gone for at least an hour. Apparently they must have had a lot to discuss.

Not wanting to be rude, I knocked: **_THUD THUD THUD_**

“WHO THE HELL IS IT, I’M BUSY!”  

I didn’t expect such a venomous response to my arrival. Then again, he wasn’t expecting me and I could see how unannounced guests could be obnoxious during an important conversation.

“It’s me… can I come in?”  I know he’ll recognize my voice.

“Just a sec!” I’m only left waiting for less than a minute before he adds, “Come in, Armin is here too!”

Upon entering the room I immediately make my way over to the bed to sit down because it’s the only proper seating aside from the floor.

“You were gone awhile and I was worried you wouldn’t have time to eat before drills.” I surprise myself when I realize that I’m explaining as if I need to justify my presence.

“No worries, we were just getting ready to come back.” Armin must have been watching the time to make sure they weren’t taking too long.

“Oh, perfect. Say… before we go, Eren, are you alright with this?” It occurs to me that this situation could be somewhat awkward for him. The three of us have always been tight knit and I don’t want him to worry that he could end up as a third wheel.

“Alright with what?” There’s obvious irritation in his voice and I hope it’s not because of the situation we’ve unintentionally bestowed on him.

“With me and Armin getting together I mean. We’ve all been friends a long time and I could see why it might seem a little weird for you.”

Eren snickers, “It is a little weird but I’ll get used to it.”

His approval now granted, I smile; “Thanks. Hey Armin, do you want to maybe hang out a bit tonight after dinner?”

Hanging out probably wasn’t the most romantic thing I could have come up with but I wasn’t sure what either of us really wanted yet. Hanging out is a good neutral starting point.

“Uh… sure. There’s nothing going on tonight.”

If it’s even possible, my smile grows. “Great. Now let’s get going.”  

I get up from my seated position and face the door. The moment we have exited the room, I grab Armin’s hand. Something about having his fingers interlaced with mine just feels right.

* * *

 

_‘Relax, you are just hanging out with one of your best friends… who you happen to like… and who happens to like you too.’_ Pacing around the girls sleeping quarters, I am doing a brilliant job of making myself extremely nervous.

The other girls would probably be at the showers for quite a bit longer. The resulting empty room gave me plenty of space to quietly freak out. _‘Get it together. You’ve wanted this forever.’_ I was so calm all day, excited, but calm. It’s strange for me to not be able to keep my nerves in check.

I jump when I hear knocking on the door. _‘Oh come on. Calm the fuck down!’_ I mentally berate myself; there is no reason to be anxious.

“Come in!” I manage to hide my nerves long enough to form those two words. It’s a good start.

I’m pulling my shoes on when Armin enters the room; “Mikasa?”

 He looks adorable with his hands nonchalantly placed inside his pockets. _‘Say something!’_

“Sorry I wasn’t ready yet. I got a little caught up talking to Sasha at dinner.” I can’t help but wonder why I’m apologizing. It was the first thing that popped into my head but I know it isn’t necessary.

“It’s not a problem. So… what do you want to do?”

Thank goodness I’ve been considering this all day or I would be sitting here dumbstruck. “I was thinking we could go on a walk.”

“That sounds nice, let’s go.” I can’t believe how calm and collected his is in contrast to the ball of nerves I am.

We start making our way out of the room and down the hallway.

“Thank you for meeting up with me.”  I can’t believe the useless dribble that is spilling out of my mouth. _‘Shit did I just say that? Who says that?’_

I feel a little better when he responds with “My pleasure.” I’m not sure if he’s using humor to acknowledge my awkwardness or if he’s just as nervous as I am. Knowing there is a chance at the latter is somewhat comforting.

I find myself naturally leading our way and realize that we haven’t actually established a destination. “Do you want to go to the lake?”

“Sure”

His agreement reassures me that I haven’t already managed to ruin the evening. I have known Armin for years and always been comfortable around him. Whatever hormonal cocktail I have flooding my brain is making it suddenly impossible to act normally; I’m going to have to learn to control it quickly or this could become a problem.

He opens the door for me when we reach it. I am sure that my face is bright red as I do my best to articulate, “Thank you”.

I’m relieved to be outside in the cool night air. The outer grounds of headquarters has a stunning moonlit glow cast over it; the perfect backdrop for a first date. _‘This is a date, right? As close as you we can get to a date under the circumstances anyways.’_ My nerves are somewhat soothed with the soft rustling of the breeze.

I know this is the perfect opportunity to say something sexy. “We haven’t been to the lake in years.” Not exactly what I was going for; _‘Close enough. At least it was something coherent’._

“Yeah, it’s hard to find time during the day anymore.”  

I slow down slightly so that I am close enough to lace our fingers together as we stroll. The contact should increase my nerves, but somehow I find it settling. “Do you still remember the way?”

He smiles, “Of course.”

“It’s nice to be out late for something other than night drills.”

“Haha, that’s for sure!”

Everything about this feels so right. We seem to finally be settling into our normal, comfortable conversation patters. It occurs to me that I’m here with someone whom I know almost as well as I know myself. We’ve grown close throughout our many years of friendship; maybe closer than either of us has realized. I start thinking about what this could mean. ‘ _Maybe I should take a risk; really find out the extent of our relationship’._

We spent most of the short walk to the lake silently enjoying each other’s company. I managed to somewhat gather my thoughts before speaking; “So… here we are.”  I’m aware my voice is unsteady but I am too concerned with questioning the decision I’m about to make to be bothered by it.

“Yep here we are.”  

I take a deep breath to mentally prepare myself; _‘It’s now or never.’_

“How well do we know each other?” Not the smoothest line, but it will due.

“Um… well we’ve been friends for years so probably better than most anyone else.”

“That’s what I was thinking too. So there isn’t much sense in wasting time on awkward introductions.”

“Wait…what—”

I cut him off mid-sentence by closing the gap between us, placing my mouth on his. I have no idea what I’m doing as I hold my lips against his and I settle on pressing my tongue to the space where his lips meet. I feel his lips part beneath mine, tongue sliding around mine as an invitation into his mouth. I attempt a few creative flicks to try and incorporate variety but it doesn’t take long for me to melt too far into him to keep up. We fit well together, he knows exactly what to do and I give my best attempt at keeping up.

He breaks away, allowing us a brief parting to catch our breath.

“Wow.” I have never truly comprehended the word breathless until this moment.

“Wow.”

“It’s kind of embarrassing but that was actually my first kiss.” My cheeks are flushed, but I’m not sure if this is from my confession or the activity that spurred it.

“Really?”

My heart flutters. The fact that he was surprised I hadn’t kissed before must mean he enjoyed it.

“Yeah… I’d like to do it again.” At this point I don’t even care that I probably sound absurd.

“Ok.”

I firmly press my lips against his. As we fuse together, I try to match the complicated lingual acrobatics he’s performing against the roof of my mouth. I pull down gently on his arm, hoping he will comprehend my desire to lie in the grass. He seems to understand, resulting in me finding myself lying on top of his muscular body with our lips still locked.

_‘Holy shit I am making out with Armin!’_

I reach for the first button of his shirt; it’s more difficult than I expected to unfasten it without my full attention. I can feel his hands meet mine, assisting with the remaining buttons. We break our kiss to remove his open shirt and I’m overcome with excitement when he removes mine as well.

_‘Oh my God I am on top of Armin shirtless!’_

I am mesmerized by the defined muscles of his chest. I haven’t seen him shirtless in years; at least since we had started training. I can feel my body stirring, every fiber of my being is begging for more. There’s a definite moistening between my legs I have only previously experienced alone in my bed, imagining being able to touch Armin the way I am now. 

I blush at the moan escaping his soft lips. Redirecting my attention to his neck where I start applying gentle sucks.

His entire body seems to relax beneath mine. I begin to notice that I can feel his erection growing against me, causing me to gasp in surprise.

“Sorry…” He muttered.

“No, it’s alright.”

Following the cues of his body, I reach for his zipper. His pants slide off easily which leaves him below me in only his boxers as I take a moment to remove my own pants.

I can practically hear my own heart pounding in my ears when I twist my fingers into his waistband. He takes a deep breath in response as I remove his boxers and toss them to the side.

Seeing Armin completely naked for the first time is impressive.  I can’t help but hold my body against his and reinitiate our too long paused kiss. With a bit of a struggle, I manage to rid myself of my panties. We don’t hold the kiss for long because it’s necessary to break away in order for me to straddle his hips.

“How do I do this?”  I dearly hope he understand what I mean by that because I don’t think I can bring myself to give any details. Luckily for me, he once again seems to have more experience in this department.

“Position yourself over me and push until I’m inside you comfortably.”

The explanation was simple enough. I repositioned myself to align his tip with my entrance. I groan as I gradually lower myself down his shaft and hear him grunt as he fills me. He thrusts his hips into mine, gently at first but quickly increasing in speed and strength. My breathing increases as I do my best to match his pace. I find myself digging my nails into his hip bones to steady myself against him.

As we settle into a comfortable rhythm, I find myself looking over his body. The night was bright with stars, and the moons enchanting glow cast a glorious light over his form. I wonder what must be going on in his thoughts right now. We have known each other for years but this was still extremely fast to be rushing into sex.  To think we only expressed our feelings this morning and are already making this step.

Eventually my muscles start to feel fatigued. I vaguely wonder how long this is supposed to take. Everything feels good but neither of us seems to be close to finishing.

 I squeak as I feel Armin’s thrusts intensifying out of nowhere. He reaches his arms around my hips and rolls me into the grass, effectively switching our places to land him on top. The new position has him penetrating me deeper; I can’t help but squirm beneath him as my muscles finally begin to tighten.

“Oh!” I cry out beneath his powerful thrusts. I’m starting to lose control of my body; it’s as if my every nerve is on fire.

“Mikasa? If you don’t want me to finish inside of you, I need to know now.”

I want to tell him yes but I am too distracted by the bone shattering ecstasy of my muscles contracting in orgasm. The best I can manage is enthusiastic whimpering that I hope he will understand.

He rides me through my orgasm before succumbing to his own. It’s only when I hear him cry out “OH EREN!” that I am pulled from my trance. There is no way he doesn’t see my horrified expression as he collapses onto me.

“Armin?” I can’t believe what I’m about to have to ask.

“Yes?” He’s panting, having not yet had time to catch his breath.

“Did… did you just call out Eren’s name?”

“Um…”

“OH MY GOD!”  I roll him off of me so I can crawl out from under him and gather my scattered clothing. My mind is all over the place trying to process the situation. “I can’t handle this right now I need to leave.”

I feel betrayed. So he obviously has feelings for Eren. Did he have any feelings for me at all? Why would he say he did if he didn’t? Does Eren know?

“Mikasa, wait.”

I hear him calling me but whatever he’s saying doesn’t really register. I start the trek back to the castle, pulling on various articles of clothing along the way to try and cover my shameful confusion.

Nothing about this makes sense. All of the questions swirling through my mind center around one central query: Does Eren know and is it mutual.

To be honest I wouldn’t mind if Armin and Eren are together. As close as the three of us are, I love them both and am happy with whatever makes them happy. What’s upsetting me is the realization that I have been lied to.

Whether they’re together or not, they both lied to my face. Armin even took the lie so far as to… I stopped and thought about everything that had transpired tonight. I had given him my first kiss. I had given him my virginity.

“I fucking trusted you!” I screamed into the night. I know that no one is outside to hear my outburst but even if I had been in a crowded room I wouldn’t care; I’m furious that my best friends have played me for a fool.

No, no, no, this is no time to lose it. With a deep breath, I pull myself together long enough to get back into the castle and to the girls sleeping quarters.

I ignore random greetings and varying questions regarding where I have been or how I’m doing or whatever it is that people are saying. I don’t know. I just can’t right now.  If I try to respond I know that I’ll crack; the only thing I can do now is just remove myself from everything.

Numb, I remove my shoes before crawling into bed fully clothed. I pull the blanket over my head just has the first tear falls from my eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully this chapter answered a few questions. Feel free to comment or send me questions on Tumblr (either my "DiaryOfABrokenDoll" blog or the "fic: Prevarication" tag)
> 
> Next chapter we get to move on with the plot. Sorry this one doesn't really introduce anything new but it felt like it was important to include.


	4. Picking Up The Pieces

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Armin and Eren take comfort in each other before having a serious discussion with Mikasa about their recent actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for your comments and kudos <3 Every one of them truly makes my day! This chapter will relieve some of the angst that's build up so far. I think you'll enjoy the Eremin indulgence. I best let you go ahead and get started.

 Eren was the first to wake up in the morning; he had spent most of the night tossing and turning so it was more of resigning to insomnia than an actual awakening. Despite having no windows, he knew the sun wouldn’t be up yet. He watched Armin tossing and turning next to him. ‘ _He usually sleeps so peacefully.’_ Waking the blonde would have been an act of mercy but Eren couldn’t push away the thought that it would be selfish. _‘This is all my fault’_.  He turned his body to embrace his sleeping lover. Much to Eren’s relief, Armin relaxed into him; cuddling close and no longer thrashing about. Eren placed a soft kiss on the crook of his neck and whispered an almost imperceptible “I’m so sorry baby”.

Eren felt responsible for everything Armin had been through over the past two days. It was his idea to lie to Mikasa, all because he had been too scared to tell her the truth. He would be furious if his boyfriend had slept with someone else under any other circumstances, but all he felt now was guilt for forcing his actions. _‘How the hell am I going to fix this?’_

Armin awoke to Eren’s arms wrapped around him. He hadn’t slept very well so the comforting sensation of his lovers embrace was a welcome escape. “Good morning.”

Eren hadn’t noticed Armin’s awakening and was surprised by his salutation. “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

“At least I woke up to something nice. How did you sleep?”

“I didn’t really but that’s ok.”

They snuggled together in silence, neither wanting to ruin the mood with the topic they desperately needed to discuss. Armin turned to face Eren within their embrace, burrowing his face into his lover’s chest. “I love you.”

Eren smiled, “I love you too.”

“You aren’t mad at me, right?”

Eren could see the genuine worry in the way he clung desperately to their touch. “No. I’m just really mad at myself. You shouldn’t be dealing with any of this shit.”

“I screwed everything up.”

“Don’t say that. None of this would have happened if I hadn’t talked you into my stupid plan.”

“It was pretty stupid.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’m stupid.”

Armin turned his head to make eye contact with Eren; “You aren’t stupid, but you have gotten us into a really sticky situation. Mikasa probably hates us both now.”

“Fuck. We’re going to have to talk to her eventually.” He bit his lip, trying not to get lost in the beautiful blue eyes staring through to his soul.

“We should probably do that this morning. The sooner the better, you know?”

“Yeah” he was starting to lose focus. Inappropriate timing aside, Armin had a way of unraveling him without meaning to.

“How about we try to catch her getting back from breakfast?”

“I guess.”  He couldn’t stop looking at the boy he was entangled with. He had put him through so much and yet there he was, still as close as ever.

“Eren? Are you listening?”

“Breakfast. Got it.”

“Eren.” Armin’s tone expressed his annoyance at Eren’s obvious lack of presence.

“Sorry! I just… God, you’re looking at me like that and I know we’re having a serious conversation but I really just want to fuck you into oblivion.”

Armin blinked in surprise. “Eren…” He felt bad for his annoyance and softened his tone considerably.  “Really? Right now?” He pulled away, but found himself quickly restrained by Eren grabbing hold of his arms.

“Yesterday was my fault; let me make it up to you.” He pulled himself up to a seated position to be level with Armin, loosening the grip on his arm. “I want to erase last night from your mind.”

It was Armin who closed the gap between them by playfully nipping at Eren’s lower lip. He wanted to forget the world. He wanted to melt into Eren until nothing else existed beyond the two of them.

Eren grazed his tongue across Armin’s lips; his request for entrance was met with a welcoming parting of lips and Armin’s tongue expertly entangling with his. Their kiss was desperate; filled with a hunger for the safe haven that was their relationship. Nothing else mattered except their need for each other in that moment.   
Eren placed one arm behind Armin to carefully lower him down on the bed. He pulled away from their kiss; a string of saliva still connected them as they caught their breath.  They took advantage of their separation by removing each other’s shirts. Material tore and buttons scattered across the room, but neither of them cared. Eren groaned at Armin’s nails scratching down his back. He began to focus his attention on Armin’s neck; trailing hot kisses all the way down to his collar bones. The feeling of Armin’s shiver sent an electric pulse through Eren’s entire body. There was nothing more Erotic than watching his lover come undone below him. The hands raking through his hair encouraged further activity, to which he responded by sucking hard at the nape of Armin’s neck.

Eren assessed the purple bruising he had left behind; Armin’s shirt wouldn’t properly cover it later, but such details were no longer important. He planted another passionate kiss on Armin’s lips as he began toying with his waistband. Armin whined into their kiss, pawing at Eren’s boxers until they were lowered enough that he could kick them off for himself. Free from his own clothing, he violently tore the fabric from Armin’s body.

“Eren—Ah!” Armin’s shocked gasp quickly transitioned into an exhilarated cry as he felt Eren’s grip pump up and down his firm length. His hips bucked unconsciously in an effort to increase the friction between his throbbing member and his boyfriend’s hand.

Eren purposely moved his hand at a painfully slow pace, teasing Armin until his arousal began to feel almost painful. Instead of complaining, he intensified the thrusting of his hips; effectively informing Eren that he needed more stimulation. Eren placed a finger from his free hand intimately on Armin’s lower lip; “suck”.

Armin complied with lusty enthusiasm, using his tongue to coerce Eren’s finger into his eager mouth.

When Eren felt satisfied with Armin’s performance, he removed the finger from his mouth to begin teasing his entrance.

Armin did his best to relax, gasping at the feather light strokes. An elated squeak escaped his lips as Eren inserted the slicked up digit.  The sensation wasn’t unfamiliar; Eren focused on loosening Armin with gentle massaging motions. The introduction of a second and third finger sped up the process.

Eren brought his mouth up to Armin’s ear, slightly grazing the lobe with his tongue, and whispered, “Are you ready?”

Armin bit his lower lip and darted his eyes from Eren to the nightstand. “Aren’t you going to…”

Eren sighed and reached over to open the nightstand drawer where he pulled out a clear plastic bottle.

“Thank you.” Armin genuinely appreciated Eren’s gesture. He had a tendency to get excited and forget how important lube was. They’d had to stop more than one romantic evening because of Eren unintentionally causing Armin to experience the pain of unlubricated friction. It wasn’t that he had a problem with using it, he simply forgot in the heat of the moment.

Eren uncapped the bottle and dribbled a liberal glob of viscous liquid into his hand. He was fully aware that the amount was unnecessary, but he loved the giggle Armin gave while he watched Eren fumble with his slippery hand. He rubbed the liquid up and down his shaft; his erection throbbed with anticipation.

Eren positioned himself between Armin’s splayed legs. After all this time he was still fascinated by the blonde’s unexpected flexibility. A primal growl escaped Eren’s lips as he gradually thrust into Armin’s entrance. He was careful to start slowly, allowing his lover to acclimate to the fullness of feeling Eren’s cock inside of him. Once he sensed some semblance of relaxation in his tight heat, Eren began to move.

Armin whined in pleasure as he rutted against Eren’s spirited thrusts. Eren used his left hand to brace himself against Armin’s outer thigh and steadily adjusted his position until his boyfriend’s ragged moans indicated that he was hitting his prostate.

Maintaining what he considered to be their mutually ideal position, Eren raised his right hand to grip Armin’s length. He smeared the accumulated precum by massaging the head with his thumb. Armin squirmed at the intoxicating combination of stimulation being bestowed on his body, “OH GOD, EREN, YES!”

Eren’s steady breathing gave way to erratic panting. He could feel his muscles tightening; but he was determined to ensure that Armin finished first. He increased both the pressure and speed of his hand around Armin’s dick to match the intensity of his hip thrusts.

“Eren—” Armin’s flushed face sheened with a thin layer of sweat.

“Come for me baby.”

Armin gave a guttural snarl as he came hard on his stomach. Having obtained his goal, Eren gave one last thrust before the sight of his lover dripping in his own fluid sent him over the edge with a cry of “OH GOD, ARMIN!”

Eren pulled out in order to roll over and collapse next to his lover; “forgive me?”

Armin gave a breathy laugh, “You may be an idiot, but you’re my idiot.”

Eren turned on his side to play with Armin’s hair, “I’ll take that as a yes.”

They both dozed off in their post pleasure haze; experiencing a welcome rest from a relatively sleepless night.

* * *

 

 

They awoke to the heavy thunk of knocking on the door. Unable to remember if the door had been locked, Eren squawked in panic, “Who is it?”

A tentative voice hummed softly from the hallway, “ It’s… Mikasa…”

Eren mumbled, “fuck” before returning his voice to an audible volume to reply, “I need a minute ok?”

He doesn’t hear her respond, but Eren hops out of bed in search of clothes and attempts to verbally sooth a distressed Armin.

“I don’t know if I can do this Eren.” Armin pulled on the first shirt he could reach in the dresser, ignoring the dry, sticky mess still marring his abdominals for lack of time. He tossed a second shirt to Eren.

“It’s going to be fine. If she came to us then she’s obviously ready to talk.” Eren caught the shirt and pulled it over his head before tossing Armin a pair of boxers from the opposite dresser.

“She came to talk to YOU.”  Armin almost lost his balance attempting to step into his underwear, but manages to regain equilibrium.

“If she wants to talk to me, then she’s talking with both of us. We do this together.” Eren grabbed Armin’s hand and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. They made their way to the door where Eren released the lock and they opened it together.

Mikasa showed no reaction to Armin’s presence at Eren’s side, their minimal clothing and mussed hair, or the assortment of torn apparel and buttons littering the floor.  She remained stoic as she muttered, “Well I guess that answers one question.”

Armin flushed a deep crimson and he gripped Eren’s hand tighter in an effort to calm his nerves.

“You wanted to see me?” Eren gulped. He had no idea how this was going to go; it had the potential to explode if mishandled.

“Yeah… if Armin’s here I guess you know what this is about.” Both boys cast their eyes down towards the floor at her accusatory statement.

“I guess you could say that” was the weak response Eren managed to articulate.

“There’s just one thing I need to know.” Mikasa directed her attention to Armin, “Why?”

Why; a single word that held so much behind it. Deceptively simplistic in nature, it encompassed every possible inquiry across each minute detail of the twisted situation.

Armin gave an answer of similar nature; “We didn’t want to hurt you.”

“In case you’re wondering, you fucked that up.” Her harsh words stung, but they weren’t false. Armin’s entire continence sunk; he felt like absolute scum.

“Hey, don’t talk to him like that! This was all my fault. He doesn’t deserve getting talked down to!” Eren wrapped his arms around Armin’s shoulders defensively. “It’s okay baby,” he whispered more for Armin’s comfort than for any caring of Mikasa overhearing.

“Oh really Eren? Because you weren’t the one who screwed me by the lake last night just for fun.”

This time Armin spoke up for himself, “For the record, that was not fun.” Mikasa’s jaw dropped and Eren’s eyes widened at his unexpected bluntness. “I made a bad decision, but that’s just because we care about you.”

“You have a weird way of showing it.”

“Alright, seriously Mikasa back the fuck off; you’re hurting my boyfriend.” He tightened his grip possessively around Armin.

“Why should I? You know what he did.”

“Because I’m the one who told him to do it!”

Mikasa went silent at Eren’s revelation, giving him the opportunity to further explain.

“We weren’t ready for people to know about us but we hated knowing that you thought we were avoiding you. I thought if Armin told you he had feelings for you, that you would overlook our sneaking off for at least a little longer until we were ready.”

“He didn’t have to—”

Eren cut her off, “Let me finish! He didn’t want to do it. I had to convince him, and even then he felt terrible about it. After you told him that you liked him back, you wouldn’t believe the berating I took for talking him into it. I’m the one who told him it would be better to go along with it for a few weeks and break up with you when it seemed natural. Neither of us thought things would escalate so quickly. I watched the man I love make himself feel like complete shit because he was willing to do anything to protect our relationship. It tore us both apart inside. It was misguided and stupid, but it really was because we didn’t want to hurt you!”

At some point during Eren’s explanation, Armin had snaked his arms around his waist. Hearing Eren defend him was oddly arousing.

Mikasa stared down at the floor; her expression obviously hurt. “Why didn’t you just… tell me?”

“We were worried you would be upset.” Armin offered weakly.

“We’ve been friends for years. I love you both like crazy, and you thought I would be upset! I’m upset that you both lied to me. I’m upset that you played with my emotions and broke my trust. I’m upset that you morons came up with that ridiculous plan. But mostly I’m really pissed off that you thought I wouldn’t be happy for you two being in a relationship!”

“Can you forgive us Mikasa?” Eren pleaded with genuine sincerity.

“Please?” Armin added.

Mikasa took a deep breath; “Look, what you did really hurt me. I know you did it because you care, but… wow. You really should have been honest with me from the beginning. You both need to know that this isn’t ok at all. It’s going to take time for me to get over this. But you are both family to me, and I love you, so I forgive you.”

Relief flooded over both boys. Things were going to be rough, but the important thing was that Mikasa had forgiven them. Now that she knew about their relationship, things were going to change; but hopefully those changes would be for the better.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you guys? Honesty IS the best policy! We finally have some resolution but the story is certainly not over yet. Feel free to leave comments or send me a message on Tumblr (DiaryOfABrokenDoll).   
> Now I need to go to bed because I have to up and driving in less than 4 hours. See you next week!


	5. The lake

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the unexpected hiatus; Life attacked over break and then school slapped me in the face. But here is the official conclusion. 
> 
> I'm so sorry.

Crisp, white paper stood out against the dark ground inside Eren’s doorway. The folded document hadn’t been present the night before, but it was one of the first things Armin noticed upon waking. He disentangled from the slumbering Eren, shivering as his feet contact hard, stone flooring.  Ignoring the unpleasant draft, Armin padded silently towards the mysterious document.

Armin instantly recognized the neatly scripted handwriting as belonging to Mikasa. “Eren, wake up.”

Eren groaned and rolled over, “It’s too early.”

Armin shook Eren, not so gently, by the shoulder. “Eren, seriously, wake-up. You need to see this.”

Eren was not accustomed to such rude awakenings from Armin. His glare softened upon viewing the urgency in Armin’s eyes. “What’s going on?”

Wordlessly, Armin handed the note to Eren.

 

_Eren & Armin,_

_Go out to the lake before breakfast._

_Never forget that I consider you both to be family._

_We love you._

_I’m so sorry._

Now fully awake, Eren stared back and forth between the document and Armin. “What is this?”

Armin pointed at the spot where it had been slid beneath the door, “I found it over there when I woke up. It doesn’t sound good, Eren.”

“No shit, Armin. Fuck. She’s been fine for weeks, what could this be about?” Eren hurdled out of bed and started grabbing at random clothing in the nearest dresser. “We need to get out there, NOW.”

Armin wrinkled his face in irritation, joining Eren at the dresser in search of his own apparel. “Don’t yell at me just because you’re worried. I’m freaked out too.”

Buttoning his shirt, Eren gave an exasperated sigh. “Sorry, ok?”

“No, it’s not ok. I’ve got a bad feeling about this and you aren’t helping.” Armin cast his gaze to the floor, refusing to look at Eren.

“Armin, I’m sorry. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on here.” Eren pulled on his boots and reached for Armin’s hand.

“Let’s go,” Armin clipped, eliciting a hurt scowl from Eren by refusing to take his hand.

It had taken almost a month after admitting their relationship for Mikasa to reenter the friendship. At first she was cold, still stinging from the wounds of shattered trust. But eventually, life had fallen back into routine. She had given Eren and Armin their space; now that she understood their disappearances, she felt no ill will towards them spending time alone, without her. Fighting wasn’t uncommon between the boys, but neither allowed her to know. Mikasa was at the center of more arguments than either Eren or Armin would ever admit; their relationship had left their lie with far more wounds than Mikasa had endured.  At this point, the fighting was almost constant, but only behind closed doors. Three months had passed since Eren forced Armin to protect their love by destroying it; nothing was quite the same for their relationship anymore.

The brisk morning air had no effect on the boys’ sour mood. Eren lead the way with Armin intentionally lagging behind. Eren did not need words to understand that the sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach was mutual; something about this entire morning was wrong. Mikasa had never been one for notes; she could come to either of them about anything. If she had occasion to leave a note requesting to meet, something must be seriously amiss.

Making his way down the path at a faster pace, Eren was the first to arrive at the lake. He stopped in his tracks, causing Armin to run directly into his stationary form.

“Ouch! Eren, what are you . . . Oh my God.” Armin froze, realizing what had caused Eren to remain immobile before him.  

Blood soaked grass and spattered foliage; an entire scene centered on Mikasa.  Her hand rested loosely atop the silver blade still lodged in her abdomen; it had to have punctured her abdominal aorta for there to be so much blood.

Minutes passed before they could contain their wide eyed horror suitably to venture closer.  

Eren was the first to whisper, “Mikasa . . .” before screaming “WHY DID YOU DO THIS, MIKASA?” at her unresponsive corpse.

Sniffling back tears, Armin approached Eren to offer a single revelation. “She wrote _we_ ”.

“Armin, what the hell are you—”

“In her note.” His tone was low, serious, verging on angry. “Mikasa wrote _we_ in her note.”

Confused, Eren glared at the blonde next to him. “Our best friend is dead, and you’re on about the stupid note!”

“I think Mikasa was pregnant.” Armin dropped to his knees in the soft grass as he connected the dots. “That’s why she was open to getting close again so quickly. That’s why she left a note instead of coming to us . . . they would have kicked her out if she was caught; she couldn’t protect you anymore. She killed herself because she was pregnant.”

Eren approached Armin, wrapping his arm around the crumpled boy. “Armin. . .”

“Don’t you get it? This is my fault! I killed Mikasa!” Armin sobbed inconsolably into Eren’s shoulder.

Eren held Armin, unable to provide any real comfort outside of a forlorn back rub. “Armin, you didn’t know.”

A muffled “I should have known” sounded against Eren’s neck.

“How could you have known without her telling you, Baby?” Eren realized his usual pet name for Armin was probably in bad taste when his wailing became louder. “Fuck, I didn’t mean that B—Sweetie.”

“This is entirely my fault”, Armin lamented.

“Don’t blame yourself; you had no part in her choice.”  Eren pulled Armin into a sloppy kiss. Despite being wet with tears, the contact was somewhat soothing. Their lips crashed in sheer desperation until each was out of breath. Pulling away, Eren touched Armin’s face to wipe away his tears.

“What was that for?” Armin sniffled.

“That was to make sure that you still know I love you.”

The ghost of a smile snuck its way across Armin’s lips. “I love you too, Eren.”

“This isn’t your fault. But we do need to go report her as dead.”

Armin stiffened, “Do we have to tell them what happened?”

“We went for a walk and found her; that’s exactly what happened.”

Eren helped Armin to his feet. They lost one of their best friends, but they were well on their way to healing their wounded relationship. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a slight change of plans from where I had been planning to take this, but somehow it happened and I just . . . I don't think I have words. 
> 
> There it is folks. Feel free to tell me your thoughts in a comment or on Tumblr (DiaryOfABrokenDoll). See you next time <3


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